I would like to believe that I have always had a heart for people with disabilities - at least as much as the person next to me did. I have always opened doors for people on crutches or for a mom pushing their child in a wheel chair, but I don't think I ever fully understood their situation. My mom has hurt her ankle before and I have taken her shopping in a wheelchair - a difficult and exhausting day. I have pushed my now 91 year old friend around in a wheel chair many times while taking her to the doctor or to eat. My best friend, Sky, in Oklahoma City even has a child, Jones, who was born with spina bifida. He can walk a little, but he depends on a wheel chair for most outings. I knew it was hard for each of them, but until I was sitting in my wheelchair fully dependent on others and the accommodations buildings and events made, it never fully hit home.
About 12 days ago I broke my left foot and tore a ligament in my ankle. I am in a hard cast and not allowed to put weight on it at all. This would be much more minor if I was not already what Grady sometimes refers to as a "defective model" that he would like to send back. I have a bad neck with a bunch of hardware in it. Therefore, crutches and I don't really get along. 10-15 feet on crutches for me is really pushing it - if I manage not to fall, my neck and shoulder end up screaming at me. Instead of crutches, my mobility options are: a knee scooter (called a rollabout) I borrowed from a friend's husband who had recently used it following foot surgery or a wheel chair. The knee scooter is good for medium distances and great for around the house for the most part, but it doesn't work for long outings. That's when I turn to the wheel chair. I attended a meeting followed by church last night on the scooter, but by the time I got to church, I sure did wish I had that chair (and so did my fat little sausage-looking piggie toes).
I'll start with just the issues in my home. I live in a nice 2 story home that was built in the 1970's with a stair case that makes a U-turn. We don't have any bedrooms or full bathrooms downstairs. Our doors between rooms are not wide. I was very fortunate that Price has a trundle bed so Grady and the boys brought it downstairs to the living room for me. I do have a bathroom down here, but no shower. If I want to take a shower, I have to go to my parents' house and have someone help me. (They live in a 1 story home with a walk-in shower with a small ledge). I can scoot up and down the stairs on my rear, but once I get up there the doorway to the bathroom and the positioning of the tub and toilet don't lend themselves to usefulness. I have made this journey twice in the past 12 days simply because I wanted to pick out my own clothes. I now have a "closet" down here which is really a chair that has several comfortable clothing items on it. I don't tell you all of this to say "poor me" - I tell you this knowing full well it is temporary and I will survive with flying colors - better, stronger spiritually, and more aware. But imagine if this was a sudden and permanent life change. Now take it a step further and imagine if I was a person who would never be able to come up with the means of making my home accessible. This breaks my heart for the people I know that are in that situation.
Now I will tell you what I have seen from my new perspective outside of my home. The day I landed myself in this predicament, I was at a Christian Women's conference. It was being held at the ORU Mabee Center in Tulsa. While I am certain their building meets what is considered acceptable ADA accessibility standards, I consider this building (and pretty much every other place I have been) less than congenial to people with disabilities. Much of the issue is that the buildings are retro-fitted with their ramps and other accessibility features. That entire building has ONE elevator. There is ONE accessible bathroom on the main floor - the rest you have to go down about 5 stairs to get to the bathroom...or you could choose to get on the ONE elevator and go back down to the main floor where there was another accessible bathroom. There were TEN THOUSAND women at this conference. The ONE elevator and ONE bathroom does not make for an accessible venue. The Mabee Center also doesn't have automatic or push button doors. I have seen very few places that actually do.
Mellencamp and the other more popular singers came out, I just sat looking about derriere height in front of me. Not the view I really hoped to have. Going to the bathroom there wasn't even an option. One set of bathrooms in the place and far from accessible. After the concert, they pushed me the 1 1/2 blocks back in the rain to where they had put our keys behind a bar because the valet had closed 30 minutes earlier. They had told us that would probably happen and that our car would be parked about another half a block away.
I could go on and on about all of the obstacles that have been placed in my way during these past several days and the bumps in the sidewalk, but I don't want you to miss the point. This is not about me - my circumstances are temporary and mild in comparison to so many. My point is to hopefully have you see some things through the eyes of someone who is stuck in this predicament long-term. I want the world to do more than the minimum to be compliant with the Americans with Disabilities Act. I want everyone to see beyond their own perspective and see other's. I want a world where a group of 10,000 Christian women wouldn't consider getting on that ONE elevator unless they physically require it when there are stairs or an escalator readily available. I want a world where people wouldn't consider parking in disabled parking unless they truly need it. I want a world and a community who looks at a child who is in a wheel chair for life and asks, "What can I do to make their life easier and more enjoyable?" If a person comes home from the hospital to live in a wheelchair permanently or even somewhat long-term, I want the community to be there ready to build a ramp or widen their doors or whatever they need to make their home comfortable. I realize this is a BIG dream, but every open eye makes a difference.
To further open your eyes to people with mental and physical limitations, please, consider reading the book "Petey" by Ben Mikaelson. I read it in about 4 hours. It was another tool God used along the way to open my eyes to the needs of others.
I will end with a happy 6th birthday wish to the boy I told you about earlier in this post. This is Jones Dilbeck, son of Sky and Jeff Dilbeck, and he is my little Superman. I want the world to be different for him and so many others in similar situations.
